We live in ever-changing and uncertain times.

Not even The Oracle saw this one coming. I will say that if anyone “won” the tie between the two of us, it was probably the Giants who came back from a 14 point deficit in the 4th quarter and were one untimely Skattebo fumble away from redeeming Dominic Zvada and giving him his rookie moment. I will talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly from last week eventually, but first we have some more pressing topics to discuss…..

What the fuck is going on in the NFC East?

Seriously. Specifically in Philadelphia. Now I need everyone reading this to make absolutely no bones about one thing - I hate the Eagles more than any other team in the NFL. I might as well “not mind” Dallas compared to my hatred and loathing of the Eagles. I know that historically (certainly in my dad’s day) the Cowboys were always our “biggest rivals,” but why do I, in my lifetime, really give a shit about them since I became sentient as a football fan at around the year 2000? They haven’t won shit. If anything they should hate us for all the meaningful*** games where we have beaten them - playoff games on our way to winning the Super Bowl, in their first ever game in their stadium, to knock them out of the wild card race, etc. Yes they have cleaned our clock in the regular season (save for this year lol) in meaningless games for the last ~10 years. The record is not great, they are 22-9 against us in the regular season since 2012.

But when it counts, they shit the bed and lose like they always do. Like they ALWAYS. DO.

Here’s the last EIGHT seasons for the Cowboys:

• 2019: missed playoffs, 8-8

• 2020: missed playoffs, 6-10

• 2021: Won the NFC East, lost in the WILD CARD round

• 2022: Wildcard entry to playoffs, lost in the divisional round

• 2023: Won the NFC East, lost in the wild card round

• 2024 & 2025: missed playoffs

2026 - clapped by the G Men on primetime, lose in epic fashion in Rio to the Ravens, lose AT HOME as 8.5 POINT FAVORITES to an undrafted rookie qb and a winless Buccs team.

Embarrassing, as one innocent and freedom-of-speech-having stadium employee put it. Russ fucking Wilson was a coin flip away from winning on the road there last year in overtime with Brian Daboll at the helm - maybe that should have been the alarm bell? Ol’ Bag-O-Bones Jerry Jones says he wants to win one more before he dies. If that’s the case, he might have to start looking into some of that cutting edge billionaire medicine because Dak will never get it done. He’s throwing to probably the best receiving core in the country in Ceedee and Pickens and even Turpin and Ferguson at the right end. Impeccable O line every year, solid running backs his whole career.

Bed shitters - all of them.

So no, I’m not worried about the Cowboys much. Doesn’t occupy a lot of brain time for The Oracle. The Eagles, however, with their constant bull shittery and their actual playoff success and their desire to fuck the Giants *specifically* and systematically over the last 15+ years is much more so the target of my ire and the source of my hatred. I can’t talk about Skattebo getting his ankle snapped last year on a hip drop tackle at the Linc. I can’t talk about what the Eagles did trading with Dallas in the draft to get one spot ahead of us to get Devonte Smith because they knew we wanted him. I can’t talk about the miracle at the meadowlands II with the DeSean Jackson Matt Dodge shit. I can’t even think about the Saquon Barkley situation. I can’t talk about when the Eagles PULLED JALEN HURTS IN THE 4TH QUARTER,,, AND PUTT IN NATE SUDFELD,,, AGAINST WASHINGTON,,,, IN ORDER TO INTENTIONALLY LOSE THE GAME,,,,,,, THEREBY KEEPING THE GIANTS OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS. I can’t talk about it because it pisses me off and damages my soul to feel such anger.

So watching their franchise collapse and crumble in real time this season has been just an absolute delight.

Let’s recap shall we?

• W1: Eagles barely beat the Commies 24-22

• W2: Eagles BARELY beat the Titans 24-20

This is where the rumbles began. In the fan base, in the locker room. At the press conferences. “Saquon’s not getting the ball enough, maybe we miss AJ Brown, the defense looks soft.”

• W3: Eagles get dog walked by *checks notes* Case Keenum?? And the Bears? On primetime?? 7-27????

The noise is louder now. “The new OC sucks we need to fire him, Siriani is an idiot” blah blah blah.

• W4: Eagles lose to the Rams (same bestie) 24-20 after blowing a double-digit fourth quarter lead. Siriani is flogged for a fourth and goal “go” decision where a field goal may have iced the game. He did this because he is an asshole who does things to be an asshole and not to win football games or better his program.

The noise is now deafening. “Is Jalen Hurts the problem? We need to FIRE Siriani!! Saquon is always hurt!! Rebuild!”

• And then all-pro right tackle Lane Johnson retires. Starter. “Mental health” related. hmm.

• And then the Eagles traded two-time pro bowl center Cam Jurgens to the Ravens for a bag of chips and a soda. A fifth and a second.

  
  

  “Well, I guess ‘Howie did it again’ right? haha,” the fans said, hesitantly in a cold sweat.

  
  

• W5: And then the Eagles lose to the Jaguars in London having blown a 2 point lead with 8 seconds remaining in the game. Kick the ball off and survive 8 seconds. They could not. Calls for Siriani’s head have grown to a deafening roar.

And now…..Jalen Hurts has a blood clot in his calf, for which, because of a risk of death, he is now out indefinitely???

I don’t know what to tell you folks. Maybe all that world-renown unwelcoming (scumbag) fandom and intentionally losing of games and underhanded off-season tactics have finallyyyyy pushed the football gods to their tipping point…

Indeed it would seem so….I wonder…..

Have you ever heard the tale of Sodom and Gomorrah? It’s not a story the Eagles would tell you.

In the Book of Genesis, Sodom and Gomorrah were two ancient cities that God destroyed with fire and brimstone due to their wickedness (hint: can you guess where the word “sodomy” comes from?). Remind me, what play has the NFL been trying to ban and vote about that has been causing such commotion in the league? Hard to officiate, almost always lined up offsides. Didn’t the refs almost “award a score” in a playoff game because of how controversial this play was? What was that play named again? Ah yes, the tush push. That’s the one.

In uncertain times such as these, The Oracle and Jameis Winston always find guidance in the scripture.

But you already knew all this was going to be the case for the Eagles because you read my blog faithfully.

And someone has to win the NFC East, eh?? Based on how our schedule looks and how the rest of our division looks, might as well be us. By the way, the winner of the NFC East looks like it will have a higher seed than whoever wins the NFC South….

….and don’t forget about my birds who say that Dart is eyeing a comeback.

See you Sunday in the parking lot for the Saints beatdown.

-Giants Oracle