🚨Emergency Blog🚨: Something’s Off

I am obviously super excited about the draft. We’re going to (hopefully) get two really good players. I have already predicted that Jeremiyah Love falls to us and I said if anything the Titans will take him just before we can. People say the Cardinals are going to get him. I think that would be a ridiculous thing for them to do and they have so many issues at so many more immediate positional needs and I don’t think “wasting” a pick on a rb is going to solve literally any of them at all,,, so I doubt it. In the draft analysts’ perfect little prediction world it seems the Titans would then be the front runner for Love. But we do not live in that world. The Oracle doesn’t live in that world. I am ready to be wrong about him coming to us (I’ll deny I ever said it and change the past blog posts) but I still trust my vision. All that said, something has hit me just now.

A premonition. A shudder.

Something fucky is afoot. I’m not even sure about the Jets actually picking at 2. Someone’s going to trade up into / within the top 10 and I think it’s going to be to the Giants detriment. OR, we might even trade down with Arizona to the 3. Might be the 10 pick and Kayvon - hopefully not the 5. Maybe even to the Jets at 2??

Meanwhile Dallas is over there lurking. There are whispers that they want to trade up to take who they think we want.

How do they even know who we think we want??? Are there spies in the buildings?? Yes that must be it, the walls are listening. No one is safe. They’re inside our system. Jerry’s got someone on the take. Dallas just had Bill Clinton show up at their press conference yesterday. Old bag o’bones Jerry Jones greeted him like an old friend and almost fell and shattered his knee caps standing up to go shake his hand. Seriously go look it up. That means something, there’s something there. Follow the trail Oracle… nothing is coincidence…. Bill Clinton… knees…. Dallas… Who blows more than Dallas? -Monica Lewinsky. It’s all there.

Also we had Odell Beckham Jr. in for an honest to God workout?? Like to sign?? Why would we do that if we’re drafting Jordyn Tyson?? Maybe that whole thing is a failed smoke screen attempt of us telling the league that “oh we definitely DON’T want to draft a wr, Odell is coming home baby!” since everyone seems to know we are interested in Tyson at 10 (or maybe 5!!!). A failed reverse double bluff. Side note - I think we objectively would love to have Odell back as a D-Hop-on-the-Rams type threat across from Nabers, although I don’t think he would have nearly that level of production. He also knows Harbaugh from Baltimore and has his love story interviews about how he never wanted to leave New York and blah blah blah. I think this is noise but would be so sick.

Yea, sure would love to have ol’ 13 back in the Big Blue…. 13 …. 1 + 3 ….. WAIT! Abdul Carter just changed his number to 3, Abdul Carter was the 3rd overall pick last year! This year Arizona picks at 3, we won a Super Bowl in Arizona’s stadium, not the most recent one though, that was in Indy… Super Bowl XLVI… 46… 4+6 = 10, the Giants have pick 10. Abdul used to wear 51…. 5-1 = 4, who wears 4??? Jeremiyah Love. My God….

(Btw - Abdul dude, can you just ~relax~ with the whole number thing? Record more than like 2 sacks this season and then we can maybe talk about me giving a shit what number you wear. You also just made so many people waste their money on a bogus 51 jersey after asking for the Giants to un-retire not one, but TWO Giants Ring of Honor legends in Phil Simms and Lawrence Taylor - THE BEST PLAYER TO EVER PLAY ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR POSITION - and you would be lucky to one day be mentioned in the same SENTENCE as him, and so we gave you 51 as a pacifier combo of both numbers. You haven’t earned squat in the NFL and until you do why don’t you just focus on that offseason program, okay?)

*inserts third zyn of blog post*

But ok so maybe we know things are afoot and maybe we’re going to be ready for it in the war room. I know I don’t trust Joe Schoen but I have to say last year’s draft was basically impeccable so maybe we can pull something off. I trust Harbaugh in theory but this is like our first look at him in action. What if his objectives are different than mine. As in, he wants to draft to win like “next year” and “build a foundation” or something - The long game. I like that of course but I also want to win like, right freaking NOW. NOW AND LATER!

I’m honestly losing it a little bit. This is like a fucked up Christmas Eve. I’m not going to be able to focus on anything until the top 10 picks are off the board. I don’t even care about 37, take some o lineman or something. I’ll of course do in depth research on everyone we pick after the fact but The Oracle wants LOVE and DOWNS by any means necessary. Sounds impossible, but it might just happen.

Also the Commanders could pull some nonsense but for whatever reason (decades of incompetence) I am not worried about them whatsoever.

All eyes to tomorrow.

-Giants Oracle