Na-Na, Na-Na, Na-Na Nananana

OF-ALL THE, POSSIBLE THINGS….

Truth care(?), Truth brings(?), is that right? Are those the words? Neither of those make immediate sense. Seriously, does anyone know what the first few specific lyrics of that song are? I just sing it when I’m drunk / sad / happy / maybe all three and so much more all at once.

But OF ALL THE POSSIBLE things that could happen in an offseason in the CONCEIVABLE UNIVERSE that might POSSIBLY create unwanted and completely unnecessary drama in the Giants locker room, here we are.

It’s not pink powder in a baggie on a boat with Cardi B, it’s not that our coach is cheating on his wife with an NFL reporter and is very possibly the father of both of her TWO children with her cuckhold husband, and none of our players have murdered anyone in gang violence or in automobile-related crimes. Literally couldn’t be us.

Nope, it’s our gun-slinging, aura-farming, wiggle-dicking, rocket-model-dating, tik tok Gen Z Mormon king / future face of the franchise; Jaxson Dart, and his fellow, second year, first-round 2025 draftee; Abdul “hey babe does this jersey number make me look fat, seriously be honest because I can change it” Carter.

Dart introduced the president of the United States at some sort of rally / event (?) and Abdul was like “is this real & I don’t like this.” The internet and a bunch of Giants fans, who I would bet are at LEAST 50/50 politically (correct, non-descript math), took it and ran with it on both sides to the point that Abdul had to follow up with this:

So presumably it’s all fine and we move….howevah,

Wherever you land on the political spectrum, Trump is a controversial topic. Dart is white and Mormon, Carter is black and Muslim, there is ALOT to unpack there in general and if you’re here to read The Oracle’s political takes about it, you’ll have to look elsewhere (give me 6-8 beers and stimula(nts)ting conversation).

Regardless, it does not matter here because we are all Giants fans.

But it is perhaps…unwise? of Dart to agree to do that as a youth, as the quarterback and future leader of the New York Football Giants? For so devicise of a figure? I understand completely that like “once in your lifetime if I ask you do you want to meet / introduce the president?” I will probably say yes to that in perpetuity no matter who it is, but that’s just The Oracle’s take.

But can you see Eli Manning ever doing this? For either party? I can’t. I would just simply prefer that my quarterback remain ambiguous to me politically - my heroes must be whoever I want them to be. Did you see how being political worked out for Kaepernick? They buried him. I don’t even care to spell his name right or not - that’s literally just my best guess and I’m not going to look it up. [EDITORS NOTE: the links are still not blue. Also I absolutely smoked the spelling on Kaepernick. The niners still suck anyways]

I don’t know much about the Mormons but if I were to toss a dart (lol) at the dart board (lmao) as to who do I think maybe leans conservative? I would probably start with Elijah Manning from New Orleans, Louiiiiiiisiana.

On the other hand. It’s easy to understand Carter’s take of being like “oh wow this is unexpected / I personally wouldn’t have agreed to that” - which is what I took it as.

Howevah,,,,, I would also simply prefer that my star* D lineman let his milk white, presumably uninformed, seemingly naive teammate slide on that one - just the one time - and say it to him in person in the locker room. Don’t retweet it on Twitter in the off season, in our second year together, in general, so that you bring the narrative from JUST Dart to now YOU and the whole locker room. There are plenty of other Giants who have come out against Trump in the past / in general who are now getting dragged into this by all sorts of idiots online who have nothing better to do. Now this is a whole thing. And it simply didn’t have to be. Ideally we are teammates first (both making MILLIONS of dollars btw) and politics is far after that.

*star-quality stats are pending and are subject to market fluctuations

But all in all, this is two young stars learning and navigating the New York Football Media. Baby steps. Bumps and bruises. Growing pains. A nothing burger. I believe Carter when he says it’s all good between him and Dart. If they’re winning games together? Who cares. Super bowls? Thanksgiving dinners with the fam. Alternating hosts. My place next year. Maybe they even travel together from the practice field…

You’re rightttt, best trip.

—-——- ———— ————

But on the for real, for real? On The Oracle’s mind? You know what I take from this? This is the best sign of things to come that I have seen in my visions since I was only a boy.

Can I remind you all of something you may have forgotten? A truth that has been buried beneath years of Daniel Jones and assistant special teams head coaches / whoever we can drag off of a flash-in-the-pan coaching staff? A truth you once knew but have chosen to forget?

Nothing can ever be simple for the Giants.

We can have all the talent in the world. We can have the best defense. We can have a 30-point lead against the eagles at half, we can control our own destiny in a playoff race, but our success cannot come without inexplicable and self-inflicted strife.

You remember. How many delay of games did Eli used to have? “He’s good for at least one a game” I used to say. The shotgun set, up the middle draw that we used to run incessantly on 3rd and 4 (we should sneaky bring it back). Antonio Pierce was like arrested for having a gun or something. Or when Plaxico Burress,, SHOT HIMSELF,,,,,, IN THE FUCKING LEG?? FUCK IT, HERE’S THE LINK TO THAT ONE TOO ALL FUNNY AND CLEVER IN A SENTENCE —-> LINK 🔗 PORN DOWNLOAD_JIZZ

I promise that’s not a link to “porn_jizz download” for real.

But you remember, yeah? We get in our own way when we are moving forward. When we are dangerous. When you should be watching our every move. And watch they will. Because they want us to fall. And that is right where we want them.

Also, fuck your schedule prediction post we’re going to win 10 games. We will beat Dallas on opening night.

We will win state.

-Giants Oracle