NOT an emergency blog 😴

Hey guys. Oracle here. How’s everyone’s Monday? Nice Easter weekend? Yeah? Great. Just getting ready to watch the national championship here. Rooting for UConn I think. Been a while since my last post! Longer than I’d like, but honestly nothing much has happened really these last couple weeks. Off season ya know? Just gettin’ ready for the draft. Been kinda quiet and no big news really since the start of free agency….

Oh, the thumbnail? That’s a photo of the tattoo on Dexter Lawrence’s arm. Guy’s such a beast.

Oh sorry what’s that? You didn’t hear me? I was just saying that DEXTER LAWRENCE HAS THE GIANTS LOGO TATTOOED ON HIS BICEP. Yes Sexy Dexy, the 2019 first round draft pick and four-year captain of the New York Football Giants. Yea, the guy who we made the third-highest-paid d tackle in the league in 2023 with a $90m extension. Widely regarded as one of if not the best players at his position in the game. Pretty sure that contract is coming due soon come to think of it…I guess we’ll probably give him a huge bag again obviously. Oh? I said WE WILL PROBABLY MAKE HIM TOP 3 HIGHEST PAID AT HIS POSITION AGAIN THIS YEAR. Get your ears checked man, I feel like I’m speaking perfectly normal here.

Okay do you guys get the bit? I’m not worried. Dexy ain’t going nowhere. This is business, but this is a nothing burger. This is not the time for panic.

What this is, is a shrewd move by Dexy’s agent / PR team, utilizing a tactic which has become more and more common in the recent years of the NFL, and it will get him so freaking paid by the Giants. I will admit, the headline was surprising to read today and I did not expect it would come to this. I’ll be interested to hear more about this whole thing in a couple months when we sign him to a 5-year deal.

How many times has Myles Garrett pulled the trade card? Or when Lamar Jackson did it (ehem, to Harbaugh)? Or Scary Terry last year? Or AJ Brown seemingly every year now? Although in AJ’s case he’s actually doing himself a disservice because no one wants that dog shit, sideline-book-reading, locker-room-rumor-fueling, DIVA on their team, so when he threatens a trade it’s actually directed at the rest of the league. Can you imagine reading a BOOK on the SIDELINE of a FOOTBALL GAME in which you are PLAYING? The independent brain doctor should have phoned down right there. Something’s way off. Whole eagles staff too for allowing it. Get ‘em all in the tent. He’ll get let go before he gets traded and that’s an Oracle “scumbag fuck the eagles” Philly prediction. Bag of chips at best. But I digress…

This is now one of the more common (albeit aggressive and potentially risky) methods of getting paid - show the top brass that you mean business from the jump. It’s not so “risky” with Dex because he truly is an elite talent - a one of one in the league today, and the Giants are simply not in a position to let him go. There are literally not enough 1st round draft picks. Some of the guys who pull this crap aren’t even worth what they think they are at all, and those players get sent to Cleveland, or Arizona, or Houston, or New England (yes, at least on offense) to go and die. Not the case for Dex - We need him. I’m stealing this from Warren Sharp on X (great follow btw) - these are the Giants defensive rankings without and with Dex on the field:

I have to believe those stats are at least partially biased because teams literally have to change the offensive play call / gameplan when he is in the game. Is that 97 in that defensive huddle? Guess what coach? You’re not running it up the gut on 2nd and 6 anymore. Maybe try the bubble screen to the outside. Ah shit loss of 1, 3rd and 7 now. Boom - Dexy is in your kitchen. 4th dahn. Punt team. Repeat.

I understand he had a significantly bad year last year, worst of his career in fact. There are a number of reasons we can debate about why that happened - but I believe that they are all temporary.

Every team has to have closets full of tape at this point of Dex blowing up double teams, absorbing bodies, giving no ground, maintaining gaps, and putting linemen in their qb’s laps. He will be back to his league-leading self soon, and I expect him to have more Dex-like defensive production this year. Rest assured, it will be for the Big Blue.

I personally have never gotten a tattoo, couple of my buddies have them though. They are really proud of them. Type of thing that they got because they are committed to the image, the quote, message, meaning - whatever the reason is behind their ink. It’s permanent. A part of them. Of course you can get a tattoo removed or covered up, but I get the feeling that that’s not why you got it in the first place and that’s never in the realm of possibility when you commit to getting it.

Author’s note: I bet, even if you kind of sneaky grow to regretting ever getting it, subconsciously you would self-validate yourself into believing you still like your tattoo and are confident / committed to your decision. How could you not? Maybe that’s just me using this as my own personal therapy space but I feel like I’ve gotta be right. Problem is I’ve never been able to get someone with a tattoo to admit they regret it so I can’t confirm, but maybe that fact also proves I’m right.

…..If we do trade him it’s gotta be for a player, a first, and a second MINIMUM. But don’t worry yourselffffff he’s fineeeee we’ll see him at training camp!!

And we’ll see YOU at the draft.

-Giants Oracle