The Jersey Boys - free agent number live reactions / Rundown Ep. III

These will be spitfire takes. The Giants literally just announced the jersey number choices from this off season’s free agent signings (thus far). This is this type of live, finger on the pulse reporting that you can only get from The Oracle. Editors note: in the time it has taken me to write this, it is now old news. Sign up for email notifications on new posts in the comments. I promise I won’t bug you.

Isaiah Likely - TE: #9

Overall Rating: Disappointing

This is the big one and we’re letting it fly immediately. I’m going to be honest I don’t love it. Not for a tight end. It screams “I’m trying to be a wr.” Can you picture number 9 laying down a big block on a linebacker? Chipping a D end? I sure can’t. Not successfully at least. Not great! In the Giants common era (“GCE”), number 9 was most famously worn by Lawrence Tynes (legend), and less notably by Brad Wing and Graham Gano…..yuck. I guess we can only go up from here as of late.

I openly hate the 2021 rule change allowing for “pretty much anything goes” as far as numbers for position groups in general. 80 was such a classic for Likely, but I get the thinking that you probably can’t step on Shockey’s turf now (literally) with a TE-80 for big blue. And to be fair people are still wearing Shockey jerseys in the stadium. (Side note, the old school Reebok jerseys go so incredibly hard for basically any player except for Antonio Pierce in my personal experience. You can still buy them on like eBay but choose wisely).

But the real item on the docket here - what do we do about the name puns? Likely 80 beers, etc was a true classic. Lightning in a bottle. It was perfect. By contrast, 9 is just way too realistic for a number of pretty much anything. We’re kind of ruined. You’re now just honestly reporting how many drinks you are “likely” to have in a given session, and that might even be rookie numbers for some. The magic is sadly gone. I’m sure something funny will eventually emerge here, but for now the best I can think of is something along the lines of “how many freaking chicks are you gunna bang tonight bro? Likely 9 bro ahaha” - type of puns. I don’t want to be there. I don’t think any of us do. But that’s all I have at the moment. Maybe we get some “6-9, nice” jokes between Dart and Likely. Just a little disappointing overall and I fear that it might not even look that good on the field.

But when one door closes, another opens….

Jordan Stout - P: #15

Overall Rating: We’re back baby!!

Ohhhh yea baby. How’s about 15 Guinnesses on a crisp Sunday this fall when you have Monday off? Yeah? You like what you see? Me too buddy, me too. Now, 15 Guinnesses is “probably” too many Guinnesses (Guinni). It’s not “impossible,” but 9 is way more attainable by comparison and is almost easy pickin’s over the course of a day. But 15? On a dare from your buddy? Full day of football? Sure, let’s try for it. But it’s honestly “probably” out of reach for most casual outings and that helps to ease the sting of losing the Likely 80 potential. I would wear this jersey ironically on a Saturday but my punter loyalty forever lies with Jeff Feagles.

15 in my brain is also a “stout” number. It looks like it’s getting squished down and yet has a latent, coiled visual energy. That five looks like it could punt out its little leg at any point and blast a ball to the moon. That 1 is a solid backbone. Mmmm.

Tremaine Edmunds - LB (Chi): #49

You’ll notice I included the team name up there - but Oracle don’t you only do that for free agent introductions? - That’s correct dingus, I just did some research and it turns out that I totally missed this guy’s signing entirely in the two previous free agency rundowns. Son of a bitch! I seriously have no idea how that happened but we are here now and we’re gunna do a quick rundown before I comment on the jersey because it’s important:

This guy is a stud and this is a perfect signing for us following Okereke’s departure. I don’t care about “oh but the Bears released him and his 2025 stats show a decline ouhuhh.” Shut up. It’s as if the Bears were expecting him to be a strong safety with how often he was tasked with “main-receiving-threat-options” pass coverage / responsibility. And sure enough, his biggest knock from the Bears in every article that I see was his “middling pass coverage stats.” I believe that we will ask him to play god damn linebacker and primarily focus on patrolling the line of scrimmage. Yes, pass coverage is a thing that you also have to be able to do as a linebacker, but it’s also a matter of scheme and not letting the pass become too* much of your responsibility. Edmunds may not have been a great fit for the Bears scheme, but he is still a very good linebacker and I predict we will use him to his strong suits.

This guy is a freaking dog. He has played in big games (84 playoff tackles and a couple forced fumbles), he has played for two franchises that had successful playoff-bound (or at least very close to it) seasons while he was there, he’s now a 6- year professional, a 2-time former pro bowler, all sorts of intangible stuff that will help this unit from an off the field perspective. On the field, he finds the football wherever it is and he is a 6’4” athletic freak. We are pumped about this. This is an upgrade. Here’s the main resume points:

• 16th overall draft pick in 2018 to the Bills (when Schoen was the GM)

• 2019 and 2020 pro-bowler

• 900 career tackles

• Led the Bears in tackles last season (112)

Anywhommmm…

Jersey number - 49

Overall Rating: Would buy, but won’t

As if I didn’t just suck him off hard enough above,^ I like 49 as a linebacker number. As a rule though you just can’t buy a free agent jersey in year one. He’s on a 3-year deal with us. Maybe we will see what the re-signing looks like in year 3 after a couple of super bowls and a C on his chest. One can only hope.

Sam Roberts - DT: #99

Overall Rating: Meaty

Now this is what the fuck I’m talking about. This is the good stuff right here. You need a 99 on the d line. He will obviously be playing behind Dex but he’s a completely different role so I suspect we may see more of him creeping his alignment more and more towards the edges. I can’t begin to describe how excited I am for Slingin’ Sammy Roberts to get in there and surprise the fanbase with that first TFL / sack and hit a celly. Chris Canty was the last (relevant) 99 on the Giants outside of Leonard Williams, and while Slingin’ Sammy here isn’t nearly as rotund as Canty was in the middle, he instead possesses significantly longer reach (Google this guy he’s got arms down to his knees). I’m hoping he makes an immediate impact and I feel like 99 is a great choice spiritually for making that happen. Editors note: Jude McAtamney wore 99 for us last year…I think we can all agree to ignore that and just be grateful that Jude is gone and Sam is here.

Patrick Ricard - FB: #45

Overall Rating: High Art

This was meant to be. 44 and 45 pounding the rock right down your gullet. This is a symphony. This is opera. The last combination of these two numbers in the backfield? Ahmad Bradshaw and Henry Hynoski in 2011 / 2012 (with a QB from Ole Miss to boot). We’ve seen this work before. This rendition of the fb/rb aria however will headline two milky white boys looking to ruin your Sunday afternoon. “I don’t wanna play defense against the Giants anymore, coach.” Yea I wouldn’t either pal. You’re going to have a tough time identifying who it is that’s driving their face mask through your chest. Tough day at the office for sure. I’m going to leave it here because I have to get back to my job but this one continues to get me juiced.

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-Giants Oracle